Quarter Arsed English

6 November, 2007 at 8:40 pm (Filler, Mumblings) (, , , )

Disclaimer: This is a rant due to the humongous amount of pent-up frustration rising from exam week. Also explains why I didn’t ping PPS cause I don’t wanna be accused of starting a blog war or something.

Sheesh I sounded like a wuss up there. Ah, fcuk it.

Quite recently I stumbled upon a new blog. Nothing fancy about it till I read the ‘About Me’ section. Quite amusing cause the way he described himself was I don’t know, too self-absorbed? Here’s an excerpt (in puke green color):

IntroductionAnnyeonghaseyo (Hello in Korean), my name is *censored*. Yes, it’s a Mandarin name not Korean. I am a mid-20th Malaysian ‘boy’ living in Kuala Lumpur, a chinese-descendent that many people though that I am a Japanese or Korean wherever I traveling.Can you spot which one is me when I was with a group of Koreans?

Damn perasan sial. There’s a picture but I refuse to show this narcissist’s face. Don’t wanna be responsible if you guys decided to regurgitate your dinner.

And his answer was:

Answer: I am the most handsome ‘boy’ in the picture loh :p …

Ha. Ha. Ha. Very handsome indeed, ‘boy’. (I’m younger than him but even I’m ashamed of calling myself ‘boy’). More:

What I like to do?

Art AppreciationMy taste of music can be anything from classical, vocals, operatic, musical, stageplay to contemporary nu metal as long as it touches deeply into my soul.

Wah, I didn’t know nu metal can touches deeply into one’s soul… Must start listening to my Linkin Park collections again.

And then it starts to become more ridiculous:

Reading

I like reading especially when comes to free reading, you should know what i mean here. Going into the bookshops like Kinokuniya, MPH or Borders spending the whole day there like it is your home comfortably sitting on the nice sofa enjoying free flows of ‘Personal Money’, ‘Men’s Health’, Paulo Coelho, Peter Mayle, Adeline Yen, Yann Martel and et cetera.

Since when did Kinokuniya, MPH or Borders turned into pubs with free flows of ‘Personal Money’, ‘Men’s Health’, Paulo Coelho, Peter Mayle, Adeline Yen, Yann Martel (oh,got Martel ka? no wonder la..) and etc? I shouldn’t waste anymore money go clubbing and just head there next time.

And like it is your home? WTF?

Unlike you, I am at least better which I actually brought a numerous books including ‘Life of Pi’, ‘Failing Leaves’, ‘Pligrim’, ‘Eleven Minutes’, ‘Alchemist’ as well as others. My favorite is still ‘Failing Leaves’ by Adeline Yen, a book portraits her childhood during the China civil war, a setting happened in the old Shang Hai’s French Concession of a well to do later today’s Hong Kong tycoon family.’Failing Leaves’ by Adeline Yen

Oh just because he bought a couple of books, he’s better than us now? And please notice the blatant butchering of the English language. I mean I thought my English was bad enough but him?! That’s worst than half arsed – it’s quarter arsed!

And the ‘Failing Leaves’ he kept yapping about? I scrolled down further and this was what I saw:


Huh? Mana ada Failing Leaves?

Great. For someone who claims to have bought and read the book, he’s still misspelling it. Even though the title is damn big in front already. I mean mispelling once is acceptable la. Twice, maybe he left his brain at MPH. But thrice? And he even dared to show the book cover big big lidat?

It’s like telling people “hey, I just watched that movie and read the book, neh that one leh, written by Dan Bown one. It’s called Da Vincci Code.”

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The Da Vincci Code.

Health & Fitness

… Occasionally, I will swim in an olympic standard pool to soak myself into cold water & perform destress theraphy. Depending on time arrangement, I will go indoor rock climbing with friends to kill my phobia from time to time. …. Not often toxicated by wines, mostly during dinners or parties or special occassions at places like Lafite, SevenAteNine, Shook and et cetera.

Normal sized pool like those found at condos aren’t good enough for this ‘boy’ apparently. Must be olympic standard pool so he can soak himself in urine mixed bacteria laiden cold water.

I wonder what kinda destress therapy he does in a pool? Pee inside it?

Not often toxicated by wines? – since when did wine became toxic?

Taste Bud

My daily breakfast is usually came with 2 half boiled eggs, 2 pieces of toasted bread with a lot of peanut butter and 1 full bowl of muesli with chocolate or white milk. My meals are all pork-free and I don’t eat beef so most of the time I decline invitation to eat bakuteh or beef noodle. White rice with two dishes (one vege and one meat) and 1 bowl of season salad or fruit will be sufficient for my daily lunch. Oftenly, I need to go for tea break or tea time in the late afternoon as I get hungry kinda often. Not a proper english tea break, I only can afford for a cup of hot chocolate drink with a piece of cake or muffin. My workdays dinners are ordinary foods found from mamak and food courts except when dinning with friends or colleagues in some cozy restaurants. Korean and Japanese crusines are my favorite among all choices.

‘Boy’, I know this is the “About Me’ section but do you need to go so detail as to tell people what you eat for breakfast? I could care less if you eat shit. Hmm.. then again someone once told me that some people consume lots of eggs to improve their own ‘eggs’ hehe.

He likes crusines – whatever the hell that is. Hey, correct me if I’m wrong but ain’t Korean cuisine consists mostly beef or pork? Unless he enjoys eating kimchi all the time.

Last but definitely not the least:

I am the founder for *censored* and the principal blogger of this site. The idea of setting up this site is basically to invite similiar bloggers to share interesting stories about ‘City Life’ that are yet to be known or soemthing not yet becoming popular to readers. It can be anything down from the myth, underground, hidden or shocking stories related to city lifestyles, cultures & tribes that are worth to be written and known. My full time job is a *censored* consultant in Financials & Controlling for a Fortune Global 500 company.

Cultures and tribes that are worth to be known? In the city? What kinda culture? Rempit culture?

And finally the handsome ‘boy’ ……

What do you expect besides another vain pic of himself?!

ps: I know I know, it’s his blog, he can write whatever he wants, there are worst people out there who deserves more flaming than him bla bla bla… But do remember this is my blog and I can also write anything I want.

I just can’t stand people who think they can jump into the blogging bandwagon cause some people told them it’s an easy way to earn money through ads. I’m not against commercializations but if you’re gonna do that please back it up with some good content – not just copying and pasting some lame MSN conversation and call it a post (it’s ok to do that as long as it’s funny or entertaining la)

pps: This post was not written by the normal happy Unig. Some entity called the Exam Ghost has apparently taken over the author. Normal blog transmission shall resume next week. Thank you.

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5 Comments

  1. a_giu™ said,

    haha…
    talking cock onli…
    wtf….
    this “boy” can eat sh** la….
    useless piece of sh**…
    calling urself better than us huh…
    bugger….

  2. slowcatchupkuan said,

    haha i found his blog. mana ade korean/japanese look?? look super pure malaysian oni…

  3. unig said,

    a_giu™: Eh, no la. He only eat crusines.

    slowcatchupkuan : Haha how did you find his blog? Not like I put a link. Ya, looked more like ah beng to me.

  4. Angel said,

    heh.. world’s full of ppl lidat. Think they’re the top of the world.. bleh..

  5. Quarter Arsed English part 2 « UniG - You’ve Arrived. said,

    […] people who can’t spell properly even, with the picture in front of them should be kicked) Remember this post I did a couple of days […]

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