This should have been the product of the century.

30 March, 2008 at 3:30 pm (Funny pics) (, , , , , , , )

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Do you know how a hat/cap with pockets look like? Something like this:

 

Yup, looks like those boring kinda hat you see old geezers wear to go fishing eh? So uncool especially if you happen to be a hip and happening youngster (like yours truly) who’s wish is to just have some extra storage space on his cap.

But behold, salvation is finally here. Look at this product I spotted on The Onion’s website! Pure genius I’d have to say:

 

The Visor.ganizer – Use Your Head and Stay Organized!™ Get it here.

Though the product somehow sounded like Vagina.ganizer, I still think it’s a pretty damn good concept. In fact anything that sounds like a woman’s reproductive organ is usually a fine thing. Ehem, it’s a compliment by the way (shields face from rotten tomatoes thrown by bra-burning ultra-feminists).

To be frank, seeing this product gave me such a tantalizing feel, I can almost feel the instant hard-on coming back to me since the last time I experienced it watching Jessica Alba in the Fantastic Four sequel. Just looking at it’s power-packed features alone would leave people with extreme lack of storage drooling in each other’s saliva:

1. Carry up to 7 lbs. with 4 handy storage areas. Like woah! Now you can carry things you never imagine before on your head, like your laptop! Maybe a fridge too.

2. Turns your hat into another pocket. Your hat will no longer be a garment to shield your face from the hot sun or hide you bald head, it is now ANOTHER POCKET! Holy shit!

3. As safe and secure as the hat on your head. Since whatever you’re carrying with the Visor.ganizer is always and let me repeat always within your eyesight, you can be sure no one would wanna try and steal your shits. I mean, how many cases of hat snatching have you ever heard off?

Ok admittedly, point no. 3 doesn’t seem too strong because unlike in western country, there is the threat of those asshole Mat Rempits here, who upon seeing the popularity of Visor.ganizer, might switch from snatching women’s handbags/gold necklaces to snatching people’s hats! Together with whatever they store in them! Damn those piss drinking shit eating hell riders.

So, to reduce this problem I’ve come up with my own superb design. One that could solve this hat snatching predicament forever (hopefully). Feast your eyes on this and start quivering bitches:

 

I doubt even the most hardcore mat rempit would dare to snatch this 100 pound safe/hat combo. Now you can store all your money, checks, ID, drier’s license, Evian water, some gold bullions maybe, and even your lunch on your head. And they’re all protected safely by a 2 inch thick steel confinement. Imagine how suave you would look with that glistening knob on the safe complimenting your stylish Oakleys.

The only drawback I guess is might you need a neck as thick as an oak tree trunk to wear my version of Visor.ganizer.

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Excuse me, what did you say doc?

30 March, 2008 at 11:13 am (Mumblings) (, , , , , , , , , , )

A rather short continuation of my HFMD saga which I wrote about here. This would be the last part, I promise. Heh!

So about a week into my quarantine, I went out. Not to spread the virus around mind you but rather to consult the doctor again to inquire about my current condition and whether it’s still necessary for me to be put under confinement.

You see there’s 2 doctors on duty at the uni clinic. The one who examined me and subsequently put me under quarantine in the first place happens to be the younger of the two and understandably seemed a bit panicky during the initial stage of the HFMD outbreak. Can’t blame her though, could be her first time handling this kinda crisis.

This second doctor whom I saw on that day on the other hand is older and I think much more experienced. So, she’s kinda at ease with this whole HFMD thing. But the thing I wanna highlight here is the conversation she had with me:

Me: Doctor, do I still need to be quarantined? My MC* ended yesterday(Tuesday) and it’s Wednesday now. I have missed one to many classes and I still have tons of work to do.

Doctor: Hmmm let me see ya…(proceeds to take out some kinda chart). From your blood test, it shows that you’re just tested mildly positive for the HFMD virus. And it seems that you’ve recovered pretty well. So I guess yeah, you don’t need to be quarantined anymore.

Me: Is it? (In my heart: Yes!!!! Now I can resume my babe watching activity)

Doctor: But remember this – kurangkan aktiviti raba-meraba dengan perempuan dan jangan kissing-kissing ya supaya penyakit ni tak berjangkit. At least until you’ve recovered.

(Translation: Reduce your fondling and kissing activities with girls to reduce infection.)

Me: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OK OK DOCTOR… whatever you say…

Fondling??? Kissing??? Like wtf right? But I gotta give it to the doctor though, she has one heck of a wicked sense of humor.

*note: MC = medical certificate a.k.a sick leave la dammit!

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The Long Awaited HFMD Post.

26 March, 2008 at 11:31 pm (Misc pics, Mumblings) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

 

 

So yeah, I’ve finally gotten my lazy ass off to write this piece, an account of my Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease experience. A warning first: One hot plate of long ass entry with loads of gruesome and/or disgusting infected hands and feet pictures coming right up.

Day 1 (10th March)

This would be the first day that the dreaded HFMD symptoms reared its ugly head. I woke up that day feeling rather fine but by lunch time I could already feel the unmistakable sensation of queasiness one usually would associate with fever. I had thoughts of just skipping class and head back to my room where I can lay on my oh-so-huge single bed (I’m trying to be sarcastic here you see). But then I thought – Ah shizzers! There’s that all-important my-graduation-ass-depends-on-it test at 2pm! Damn.

So, being the tough and macho guy that I am (hah!) I soldiered on to the lecture room and took the bloody exam in a health condition that would be equivalent to driving after downing a liter of Johnny Walker Black Label without the turning the lights on. Yeah, that would best described how torturous I felt during that 1 and a half hour test. The weird thing was I was so sick to a point I felt like the lecture room was as cold as the Arctic, literally freezing my balls off while everyone else were panting and sweating their armpits, cursing the inefficient air-conditioning.

After I was done with the test, I had to quite literally (again, hey I like this word) summon all my super human strength just to crawl back to hostel. But of course, I had to put up a strong and brave front for fear of disappointing all my female fans (ahahahaha). KNN, I felt even sicker upon reaching my room. No choice but to head to the university’s clinic, and I wrote about my exciting journey to get there here.

Day 2

Nothing special happened. Just the usual sick, weak, wanna-puke, head spinning, and body quivering kind of day I had. Still went to TWO classes despite my zombie-like condition. Talk about dedication man…

Day 3

Was feeling way better today. The fever has obviously subsided. But towards the end of the day, I had a lot of these weird-ass spots appearing on the palms of my hands and soles of my feet. Like wtf man? My first thought was I was given some medicines that I’m allergic to. But then again I have never been allergic to anything. Ok, the only thing I’m allergic to is bullshit. Other than that, nothing else.

Day 4

Went back to the clinic today to get my hands and feet checked and to determine if I’m allergic to the meds or not. I noticed there were a lot more people then usual at the clinic today, and lot’s of them patients seem to have their blood taken. Plus the doctor was wearing a mask walking around. Hmmm, I have a sinking feeling inside me that says something bad is gonna happen. I can smell the stench of bad aura lingering around the clinic.

Then it was my turn to see the doctor. Before I even had the chance to open my mouth, the doctor had already given me my death sentence when she told me I had Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease upon seeing the spots on my hands and feet. No doubt the news left me in Shock and Awe (ala Bush’s Iraq campaign) and my already bad day was made even worse when I was told I need to be quarantined to curb the infection.

Digressing a bit, WHO THE HELL BROUGHT THIS DISEASE INTO THE UNI AND SPREAD IT AROUND HUH? Dammit if I know who did this, I would have ripped his balls off for putting me into such agonizing condition.

Ehem, back to the subject. So I went back to hostel but since it was already late and the admin office was closed, I had no choice but to wait till tomorrow to get myself quarantined.

Day 5 till 10 (quarantine period)

So I went to the hostel admin office and after much bla bla bla, was handed the keys to a room situated at the international hostel which is the furthest hostel away from the main Alamanda cluster. However herein lays 3 critical mistakes made by the dumbass admin:

1) A fellow (lecturer and family who stay at the vicinity of the hostel) lives just downstairs from the room I was given. And they have kids! If you don’t know this, HFMD is highly contagious and dangerous to kids due to the nature of their immune system. Don’t ask how I get infected in the 1st place though cause I don’t know.

2) There are foreign students living just next to the apartment I was quarantined in. Like hello? You’re risking their health too by placing me so near to them ok?

3) There is no provision to prepare or arrange for food to be bought in for those who are quarantined. Basically you’re on your own. The admin people even had the cheek to tell me “Ala it’s ok for you to go to the cafeteria and buy food la” Then why the hell quarantine us in the first place? So that we can stay in a secluded part of the uni but at the same time we’re free to go and spread the virus around? Crazy ass people…

Luckily I had my buddies to help me get food for me. Otherwise at the end of my quarantine period, I would probably come out looking like a famine stricken bare to the bones from some famished part of Africa.

Alright, enough of talking. It’s pictures time:

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This is how HFMD looks like on the soles of my feet during the beginning stage. Notice the red spots? Photo taken on day 4.

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A close up. By the end of the infection period, all the skin areas infected with the red spots would start to blister and die off. Health new skin would then grow(hopefully).

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My hands. (Day 4)

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Again my foot. (Day 5)

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Now you know why they call this disease the Hand, Foot and Mouth disease eh? By the way, these blisters had also infected pars of my throat making eating and drinking very very painful. How painful? Imagine those ulcers you ever had in your mouth. Normally they form near your lips right? They are awfully painful isn’t it? Now imagine these ulcers developed at your throat and you’ll have some idea of just how painful it was for me. The pain threshold is almost 100 times greater than a normal sore throat. In fact if I were to find an equivalent of how painful it was to eat and drink, just imagine trying to swallow a box of nails and drink acid. That was how painful it was to me.

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The room I was given had air-conditioning! What a far cry from my own room which had only a pathetic fan. But the bummer is, they didn’t give me the remote to turn the A/C on, and the fan inside the room wasn’t working. So I spent like the entire 5 days of quarantine sleeping without fan or A/C. Shits.

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As for the rest of the apartment, pretty much the same as my old apartment unit. Just that this one has tiled floor and was cleaner.

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The view I had from the living room looking at the uni’s most recognizable icon – the water tower. This also happens to be the same view I look at when ever I talk to you guys on the phone or on-line.

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And to my right, looking at my old hostel.

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Blisters started to form by day 6.

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Here’s a close-up. Gotta love that macro mode babeh.

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And I grew a third nipple at my arm hehahahahaha.

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Love the view though. It’s what I look at everyday whenever I go to class. But when viewed from a different angle, it just doesn’t look the same.

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Sunset is my most favorite part.

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Look at the skies. See how the color changed as night falls.

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***

Alright, now is the time to make a dedication. First of, I’d thank my family (my parents and sis) for all the concern and support they’ve given me. I knew mom was very worried about me and had sleepless nights. Dad wanted to fly here to check out my condition. Sorry for making you guys worried. Much love to you all.

To my buddies in uni(Jerry, sick0, a_giu), man you have no idea how much you’ve helped me especially with the food part. Without you guys, I think I would have starved to death literally. And thanks for the birthday bash.

Friends who sms-ed (Eric, BB to name a few) and msn-ed (Ah Lek, Joe, JCC), thanks for your concerns.

To my readers, thanks for all the well wishes and comments. Reading those comments is what gave me strength during those tumultuous times.

And last but definitely not the least, to all my friends (real life and online ones), much appreciation for all your concerns, well wishes, sms, and tons of encouragement. Here’s the who’s who: misSing – for all the support and lift-me-ups during those difficult times, I thank you and you’re the best there is; Aunty pEbbZ – thanks for the info on HFMD and keeping me company; yourlady – you’ve showered me with all the attention a big sister would give to his little bro, thank you and I appreciate that; chromium – thanks for chatting with me even though I knew you were bored to tears; Ladycool – thanks for granting me, it kept me occupied hehe; jenjen – I hope you get well soon!

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Why so busy doc?

24 March, 2008 at 12:10 am (Filler, Misc pics) (, , , , , )

I know I still haven’t chronicle my HFMD experience, from the onset of infection, to being quarantined and my subsequent release from the jail house. Not to mention tons of pictures I haven’t up-load including those really gory ones depicting HFMD symptoms infecting my hands and legs. Rightly so, since I have been very very busy lately. Here’s a list of what I’ve been busy with:

 

My Final Year Project! And that thing above is just a part of a bigger prototype. And it spins! Spent 1 month designing it, another 2 months building it, another 3 days of continuous experiment and data collection. Phew…

 

Hopefully everything goes well.

 

 

Helped a technician dismantle his car. I was given the honorable task of emptying the fuel tank which will then be sold as scrap metal. Hard work indeed.

I have to do a presentation today which really was supposed to be done last Monday. But you see the problem is, last Monday I was quarantined. Bummer

There’s a test tomorrow. God help us all.

There’s also a quiz tomorrow. God help us all again.

And the irony of it all is – it’s my birthday today. So wrong the timing eh?

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De-quarantine

19 March, 2008 at 7:01 pm (Mumblings) (, , , , )

For those who don’t get the gist of this post, please read this first. And this too (prelude).

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Ayam kambing bag (I am coming back)!

 

I’ve just been released from quarantine after a visit to the university’s clinic. Doc said as long as I keep my distance from other people and stay away from crowded areas, I should be good.

 

Thanks for all the good wishes and thanks to my family and friends who helped a lot during these tumultuous times.

 

Will update more (with loads of pics) when time allows me too. Still have 3 days of Final Year Project to attend to, a test next Tuesday and a presentation that needed to be done but didn’t because I was oh I dunno…….. quarantined? Hahahahaha!

 

Stay tuned.

 

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