PAS says ‘Selamat Tahun Baru Cina 2008’ and my first politically inspired CNY card.

6 February, 2008 at 12:41 pm (Funny pics, Misc pics) (, , , , , , )

My mom went shopping the other day and came back with what looked like the kind of plastic bag that terrorists would use to conceal bombs. On closer inspection it did look kind of normal:

 

I asked where she got it from. She said there was a stall near the mall, y’know kind of like a palm-reading stall with big flags all over. The flag was green with a gigantic splat of white splat in the middle. Then I said “ohhhhh, yah yah I know those buggers. So nice hor, they still very thoughtful to give out stuffs this festive season.”

 

But before I could even say ‘Muhibah’ some kid nearby went all psycho and spear me right at the crotch while hissing the words “election is near you idiot!” That pretty much jolted me back to reality (while holding my jewels).

A closer inspection of the plastic bag reveals 2 things; a CNY greeting card courtesy of your very friendly election hopeful and 2 mandarin oranges. Since my house is already overflowing with oranges already I’ve decided to give those 2 oranges to my Malay neighbor.

Why give them away? You can say I’m paranoid but I sure as hell ain’t gonna eat anything from people with ulterior motives (be it from opposition or government). Think nasi kangkang but in this case it’s more appropriate to call it oren kangkang. And since my neighbor is from Kelantan, I’m sure he wouldn’t have any qualms about eating them (whether or not they were laced with crotch juice is a different matter).

Let’s take a look at the card:

 

Like woah! These dudes have certainly put a lot of effort in the ass licking wooing voters part. Not bad at all considering that the ruling party isn’t even doing anything similar other than pissing people off. Or was it just my area?

 

Wow! After reading this card, I am so moved I can literally feel my balls quivering (or was it tingling?) with joy. I am so gonna vote for the opposition this coming election. Yipee!

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Just kidding.

Anyway, I’m neither anti-opposition nor pro-government. It’s just that they all have their own personal agenda which most of the time seems to benefit them rather than us rakyats. The only similarity I can see are the constant ass-licking and crotch grabbing come election day.

Ok time to cut the crap. I’m wishing all my readers a Happy Chinese New Year.

 

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Another one? Ok, why not?

 

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Another one, for your viewing pleasure:

I’m getting ridiculous.

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The REAL leng luis of Sarawak (takde tipu punya)

18 January, 2008 at 11:03 am (Misc pics) (, , , , , , , )

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Update #1: The unassuming title has triggered a massive amount of traffic after pinging. Says a lot about you people. Hamsap.

 

Update #2: Heard rumors from Sarawak’s Tourism Board and Immigration Department confirming there was an influx of horny Peninsular Malaysia males to the state after this article was put up. AirAsia was also rumored to be taking advantage of this situation by increasing the number of flights to Kuching.  Way to go, Tony!

 

After posting this article last Monday, I received quite a lot of flak from friends(especially Sarawakians) who claim that what I wrote and the pictures shown were totally not fair and unjust to Sarawak’s population of pretty girls.

Some even threatened to kick my ass all the way back to Peninsular Malaysia if I don’t do a follow up post to rectify this so called ridiculousness that I created. They even claimed that my post had hurt Sarawak’s tourism industry so much so that people had developed a phobia towards this state thinking that the female population has decreased to such a low level that trannies have effectively taken over the state.

Then there was this not-so-silent threat to force-feed me RAW sago worms (my favorite actually) if I don’t TELL THE WHOLE WORLD HOW PRETTY SARAWAKIAN GIRLS ARE.

Should ask a_giu about this. He’s the one with the Sarawakian girlfriend. 😉

Alright, without further a due, I’ve been forced taken the liberty to showcase the ‘finer’ side of the Land of Hornbills. I’ve searched high and low(from my hard disk) to present you – Sarawak’s leng luis:

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Typical Sarawakian office workers. This picture might mislead you to believe that these women were on sale when in fact they were. I mean they were selling their skills as accountants, secretary, office work etc etc la! What are you thinking?

Taken with a camera phone inside a car hence I only managed a back shot. Hmmm… I do have to admit I have a thing for women in black panty hoses. This pic is old, taken in 2005 which explains the chemically straightened hair. I believe the current trend now is curly ala maggi mee kolok mee (*Update).

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Taken on top of Pohon Mas in my uni with a camera phone, again. This picture doesn’t do her justice cause she’s not bad looking at all. Please ignore the buffoon on the right.

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Haha, another back(side) shot. My friend took this btw, at Tun Jugah. He said he took this pic cause the girl on the left was wearing a white skirt so shear and transparent, not only can he make out the color of her panties, he can also discern the shape! Who said Kuching girls are boring?

Some shots from the Rainforest Musical thing:

 

That’s a sape they were playing.

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Some traditional dance. I have a lot more pics in my possession, but I’m not going to post up pics of Sarawak girls in bikinis, lingerie etc etc. Not the right thing to do.

Often times, when I go back to Peninsular, my friends would always ask me how a native Sarawakian girl looks like. They wanna know how pretty is an Iban girl, or Bidayuh, Melanau, Kayan, Penan etc. So, to shut their mouth, here you go:

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Ok ka?

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So this is Malaysian Pretty Girls eh?

16 November, 2007 at 9:24 am (Misc pics) (, , , , )

You know I usually don’t talk about girls, well today’s an exception.

A couple of months ago I was in the computer lab minding my own business and wasting my time reading blogs when suddenly I had this idea to type in ‘Malaysian babes/pretty girls’ in Google’s search box. This out-of-ordinary behavior of mine is due to the lack of girls in my faculty resulting in an overly unbalance guy to girl ratio of about 5:1. I wasn’t thinking well anymore.

So Google came back and gave me some unrelated results, mostly from the likes of Sggirls.com. I clicked on another site, one called exagirl.com. The name’s catchy, no doubt about that. Once I was in it, I was blasted with such an overwhelming dose of pinkness I was knocked out of my chair and fell flat on my ass. Damnation, the hue was the most ugly shade of pink imaginable – sorta like the one you can find on a Teletubbies character.

I thought fine, forget about the site’s color massacre, what’s important is the content (which in my case means loads of pretty girl pics). I was getting quite excited at this point from seeing all the small thumbnails, each promising infinite amount of eye-candy pleasure. The only thought in my head at that time was ‘Damn why didn’t anyone come up with such brilliant idea of grouping all pretty Malaysian girls for the benefit of the masses?’. They even had the idea of giving us a chance to vote for the girls to determine which one’s the most highly rated. Brilliant. Or so I thought.

Eagerly, I clicked on one of the thumbnails and THIS is what I got:

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Like wtf? Where’s the prettiness? I mean, I’m not putting this girl down. Far from that. In fact, she could be considered quite ok if you somehow bumped into her at the streets. But pretty? Pretty enough to wear the honorable title of ‘Malaysian Pretty Girl’? Erm…

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