It’s been that long?

3 May, 2008 at 9:39 am (Funny pics, Uni pics) (, , , , , , , , , )

Yeah yeah I know I haven’t updated in about a month (which feels like a decade in cyber space) but can you blame me? These past few weeks had been one hell of an endless barrage of deadlines and academic assaults on my poor mind; starting with a kick in the crotch from overdue assignments, followed up with a nice head chop from FYP, and ending perfectly with some deep anal fisting from Final Exams. Speaking of which, finals haven’t actually ended, yet. Damn.

By the way, just for the excuse of dusting off the dirt from my wordpress/photobucket dashboards, I’m gonna show you some pics that are guaranteed to stoke that inner pervasive fantasy of yours my dear readers. Oh don’t you deny it, from my console I can pretty much see that half of my visitors arrived here searching for animal porn eh? AND PUT THAT KY JELLY DOWN! Hahaha!

So, the story goes like this… I followed a friend’s car out to dinner (or was it lunch? I dunno cause I don’t care as long as there’s food). As soon as I step into his car, I was immediately hit with the overpowering smell of sweet animal lust. But couldn’t be what? He doesn’t have any pets in his car, so where did that smell come from?

I searched high and low, hoping to get a glimpse of those darn copulating animals but they were no where to be found. That is until some dark aura lured my wandering vision to the dashboard. The dashboard! Of cause… how can I be so blur to ignore the vibe coming from there? So here I present you, pics of debaucheries on the dashboard:

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Ok, here comes the clincher – since Sylvester (the one on top) is a cat and the receiver at the bottom is a koala (I assume) can this still be considered doggy style? Hahaha!

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THE TAIL! Check out the tail! Mua ha ha ha ha!

p/s: No animals (stuffed or otherwise) were harmed during the photo shoot.

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Have you ever hear the saying – every cloud has a silver lining? I used to think that was crap, probably something an old drunk geezer would pull out of his ass after one too many Johnie Walker. That is until I saw it with my own eyes:

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Can you see it?

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p/p/s: A special shout out to a medical student/ future doctor. Oi kawan! Hehe…

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Aurora in the skies.

3 April, 2008 at 10:55 am (Scenery, Uni pics) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Been a while since I’ve posted any front page-worthy photos, so here goes:

You know, I’ve always been fascinated with auroras, basically a light phenomena that happens at night time in certain places around the world like Alaska, North Pole, South Pole and some parts of Australia too I believe. Though we don’t actually get to see these amazing natural performances here in the equator belt or specifically in Sarawak, nonetheless I’ve captured some photos that I think would best resemble auroras, here in the land of the hornbills.

The ‘aurora’ effects here were created from a mixture of cloud formations and lights bouncing off them from sunset. There’s also that spectacular contrast between the red/purplish colors of the cloud and the blue skies. (Photo made with panorama effect)

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Try and detect a special feature in this photo. Hint: look at the corner left side.

Yeap, there’s a rainbow there. Can you see it? This alone magnified the aurora-like effect by several folds. Ok, maybe not aurora-like but still amazing though.

For a normal view outside my window, click here and here please.

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Another angle, now can you see the rainbow splitting the photo? And the clouds man… they are amazing. I mean they almost don’t look like clouds at all. More like it’s raining Ribena/orange juice or something haha.

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Evidently, apart from the abundance of beautiful hot babes, Sarawak also has beautiful skies as well.

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Some of the funny stuffs I stumbled upon from TheOnion (I know, I’m addicted to it!).

I wouldn’t mind having this shirt. Hehahaha!

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And while looking for safe box pictures for this post, look what I found:

It was supposed to be a picture for the promotion of safe sex but some people just have to spoil the fun by being way too literal. I mean this is literally SAFE SEX!

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This should have been the product of the century.

30 March, 2008 at 3:30 pm (Funny pics) (, , , , , , , )

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Do you know how a hat/cap with pockets look like? Something like this:

 

Yup, looks like those boring kinda hat you see old geezers wear to go fishing eh? So uncool especially if you happen to be a hip and happening youngster (like yours truly) who’s wish is to just have some extra storage space on his cap.

But behold, salvation is finally here. Look at this product I spotted on The Onion’s website! Pure genius I’d have to say:

 

The Visor.ganizer – Use Your Head and Stay Organized!™ Get it here.

Though the product somehow sounded like Vagina.ganizer, I still think it’s a pretty damn good concept. In fact anything that sounds like a woman’s reproductive organ is usually a fine thing. Ehem, it’s a compliment by the way (shields face from rotten tomatoes thrown by bra-burning ultra-feminists).

To be frank, seeing this product gave me such a tantalizing feel, I can almost feel the instant hard-on coming back to me since the last time I experienced it watching Jessica Alba in the Fantastic Four sequel. Just looking at it’s power-packed features alone would leave people with extreme lack of storage drooling in each other’s saliva:

1. Carry up to 7 lbs. with 4 handy storage areas. Like woah! Now you can carry things you never imagine before on your head, like your laptop! Maybe a fridge too.

2. Turns your hat into another pocket. Your hat will no longer be a garment to shield your face from the hot sun or hide you bald head, it is now ANOTHER POCKET! Holy shit!

3. As safe and secure as the hat on your head. Since whatever you’re carrying with the Visor.ganizer is always and let me repeat always within your eyesight, you can be sure no one would wanna try and steal your shits. I mean, how many cases of hat snatching have you ever heard off?

Ok admittedly, point no. 3 doesn’t seem too strong because unlike in western country, there is the threat of those asshole Mat Rempits here, who upon seeing the popularity of Visor.ganizer, might switch from snatching women’s handbags/gold necklaces to snatching people’s hats! Together with whatever they store in them! Damn those piss drinking shit eating hell riders.

So, to reduce this problem I’ve come up with my own superb design. One that could solve this hat snatching predicament forever (hopefully). Feast your eyes on this and start quivering bitches:

 

I doubt even the most hardcore mat rempit would dare to snatch this 100 pound safe/hat combo. Now you can store all your money, checks, ID, drier’s license, Evian water, some gold bullions maybe, and even your lunch on your head. And they’re all protected safely by a 2 inch thick steel confinement. Imagine how suave you would look with that glistening knob on the safe complimenting your stylish Oakleys.

The only drawback I guess is might you need a neck as thick as an oak tree trunk to wear my version of Visor.ganizer.

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Excuse me, what did you say doc?

30 March, 2008 at 11:13 am (Mumblings) (, , , , , , , , , , )

A rather short continuation of my HFMD saga which I wrote about here. This would be the last part, I promise. Heh!

So about a week into my quarantine, I went out. Not to spread the virus around mind you but rather to consult the doctor again to inquire about my current condition and whether it’s still necessary for me to be put under confinement.

You see there’s 2 doctors on duty at the uni clinic. The one who examined me and subsequently put me under quarantine in the first place happens to be the younger of the two and understandably seemed a bit panicky during the initial stage of the HFMD outbreak. Can’t blame her though, could be her first time handling this kinda crisis.

This second doctor whom I saw on that day on the other hand is older and I think much more experienced. So, she’s kinda at ease with this whole HFMD thing. But the thing I wanna highlight here is the conversation she had with me:

Me: Doctor, do I still need to be quarantined? My MC* ended yesterday(Tuesday) and it’s Wednesday now. I have missed one to many classes and I still have tons of work to do.

Doctor: Hmmm let me see ya…(proceeds to take out some kinda chart). From your blood test, it shows that you’re just tested mildly positive for the HFMD virus. And it seems that you’ve recovered pretty well. So I guess yeah, you don’t need to be quarantined anymore.

Me: Is it? (In my heart: Yes!!!! Now I can resume my babe watching activity)

Doctor: But remember this – kurangkan aktiviti raba-meraba dengan perempuan dan jangan kissing-kissing ya supaya penyakit ni tak berjangkit. At least until you’ve recovered.

(Translation: Reduce your fondling and kissing activities with girls to reduce infection.)

Me: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OK OK DOCTOR… whatever you say…

Fondling??? Kissing??? Like wtf right? But I gotta give it to the doctor though, she has one heck of a wicked sense of humor.

*note: MC = medical certificate a.k.a sick leave la dammit!

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Where’s my nut?

2 March, 2008 at 10:00 am (Filler, Misc pics) (, , , , , , , , )

Yes, I do mean it in a literal sense. WHO TOOK MY NUT?

I went back to my hometown during the holidays and when I came back to uni, I noticed something was amiss. Something was wrong. It didn’t feel right. I didn’t feel complete.

Then a friend of mine noticed it and told me “HEY, ONE OF YOUR NUTS IS MISSING!” So I went like “GASP” and slowly (but nervously) my eyes lowered down to check out the place where my nut used to be.

And BAM! A sick feeling crept up my spines when I noticed my left nut was missing. Argh! How the hell am I gonna ride her anymore with a missing left nut? There was this awful taste in my mouth and I almost vomited when reality dawned upon me.

To help you get a better idea of my missing nut, I’ve included a most recent pic. Scroll down further to view please. By the way, the pic is totally safe for work, home and for your pets too:

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Ok I know most of my viewers have severe MYOPIA so I’m gonna enlarge this pic:

 

(yes I know I haven’t wash my bike for a long time, shut up)

Here, can you see it now? There’s supposed to be a nut there!!! But somehow it went missing. Or maybe some asshole stole it. Damn, now I have to ride with my left suspension hanging out.

And yes I was referring to my motorcycle all this while. What, you think I was talking about my own nuts? You gotta be nuts. Siao.

Even if I were to put up a picture of my REAL nuts, your screen won’t be big enough to show them in their full glory. You’ll need at least a 100 inch plasma display. And that’s just for ONE of my nuts.

Correction, a screen of that size can only show a quarter of my one nut. Yeah I know it’s just that big.

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On a completely unrelated note, someone left this on my table when I was too immersed with the lecture in front (immersed – haha as if that could happen!):

 

It’s an origami by the way. A star I believe. Quite intricate eh?

 

So who put it on my table? Own up! Just because I was oblivious to my surroundings doesn’t mean you can leave secret present/message on my table ahahahaha. Man, I ought to feel embarrassed for being perasan.

Then again, maybe that origami piece accidentally flew from somewhere and wrongly landed on my table. Yeah, that might be it.

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On another completely unrelated note, I’ve decided that if my future engineer’s income isn’t enough to support me, I’m gonna take up a part time job as a PBS. Imagine this: engineer by day time, PBS by night time. Hey, I’ll throw in some discounts and maybe a couple of extra services too, free of charge. Hehe.

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