AirAsia’s trannies scared the shit out of me

10 December, 2007 at 1:55 pm (Mumblings) (aeroplane, AirAsia, flight, stewardess)

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“Dude, since when did they start hiring ah kuas* to be air-stewardesses?”

And so said an acquaintance of mine on my flight back to KL last Thursday. I’ve been taking flights on quite a frequent basis these past 4 years, about 5 to 6 times a year, but that last flight was quite an eye-opener (and a boner-reducing one I might add).

One of the stewardesses, the one mentioned above, erm how do I put this – looked totally not hot at all? Or womanly as a matter of fact. Which is fine, but it’s the looking-like-ah-kua part that gave me the jeepers. The make-up’s thick and multi-colored, almost like she used up an entire bookshop’s supply of Buncho watercolor. Obviously an attempt to cover-up the ah-kua-ish looks, but failed miserably, because it enhanced it even further. Sad to say, I’ve seen real trannies in Thailand who looked better. Even the aunty sitting next to me was scared and kept holding on to my sleeves the entire flight.

There’s a reason why they removed the ubiquitous slogan…

To this one. Not everyone can fly anymore if they start hiring more transvestite-look-alikes. At least not me.

Alright, before you feminists start taking off your bras and want to strangle me with them, let me explain first. To be a stewardess(or a steward) that person have to posses certain requirements, besides the usual ones like not getting air-sickness, know how to move and synchronize their hands during emergency procedure demo, and push the food trolley among others. But the most important one is this –> LOOK PLEASANT.

Now, this is not a rule made by me but one that is actually published in recruitment ads for flight attendants. The ‘looking pleasant’ requirement is to ensure that not every ah ci or ah kau gets to represent the company they’re working for. An analogy of this is this: I don’t have the looks of a model, which explains why I didn’t apply to be one get it?

There’s another stewardess in the flight who, according to said acquaintance, wore the tightest and shortest skirt possible probably to compensate for the lack of pleasantly looks. I had to agree with him though, seeing her visible pantie lines are a total turn off. The outfits shouldn’t be too tight to a point they seem like bursting at the seams. Maybe some people dig that, but definitely not me. I think they should have just the correct amount of tightness.

Ok, that last sentence doesn’t sound right. But it still doesn’t change the fact that I was almost rendered impotent after stepping out of that flight.

So, here’s my suggestion to AirAsia (since you didn’t give us suggestion forms for feedbacks): get rid of those stewardess that looked like a) transvestites, b) past their expiry dates and should be at home taking care of the kids. While we’re at it, get rid of those sissy-looking male stewards too. We the passengers need those who can help us in an emergency, not those who would crawl under the seats like a bunch of pussies.

Look, I’m doing you a favor here Tony. I mean c’mon, you don’t want your customers to think you’re trying to do the ‘no-frills’ thing so much that you have to resort to hiring transvestite look-alikes do you?

Hey don’t take it from me though; you should see (and hear) the screaming baby at the front seat whenever one of your stewardess approach her. I think the screaming and wailing is louder than the engines themselves. And that’s saying something since I was sitting in the middle right next to those thrusters.

Of course, I’m not saying you should sack them and deprive them of their livelihoods. No please, that’ll be too harsh. By all means, give them a raise instead.

But please let them be ground crews. Have mercy on passengers sitting near babies (and my hearings), please.

*ah kua = transvestite