I jinxed Advertlets.
Just 3 days ago I posted this picture up together with an accompanying post:
Now, I hear Advertlets or should I say Advertlest has just one tiny itsy bitsy minor problem (the site doesn’t exist anymore).
I never knew the power of shitting on a brand could be that immense. Man, if I have anymore companies that piss me off in the future, I now know what to do.
This is what I think of blog ads(shitty).
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Quick hitters:
The old geezer admitted to having sex. So? Big deal! People’s been humping other people, animals, hands, inanimate objects since the existence of mankind. The only difference is his tryst was recorded. I’m just sick of people harping on this issue as if their father’s the one who did it.
As far as I’m concerned, if he did it outside office hours and doesn’t affect his duty to the people, the only ones he need to answer to is his family and himself, NOT YOU. Who knows, maybe his wife consented to it?! There’s a lot more people out there who had extra-marital sex, men and women alike, so why don’t you be the moral police and preach to them YOU LOSERS! Get a life.
Look, I’m not saying what he did was right. But if you wanna pick on him, do it because of his (in)ability to fulfill his duty to the people, not because of his extra-curricular activities. Ok, I admit I’m kinda pissed with him too. At least he could have inserted some ‘Have Safe Sex’ slogan at the end of the video or distribute free condoms during the conference. As a doctor and working for the health department, that’s his job right?
I love blog ads, seriously I do. This is how much I love them:
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Being the fair person that I am, I’ve included every single blog ad company that I knew, might have missed some niche ones cause the pic’s kinda old, y’know like GrabMyAssAds and Nufflets.
Wow, Nufflets eh? What a creative way to name a company: combine two already shitty company’s name and you’ll get = WOAH, an even shittier company! (A name like that just begs to have its ass saved by Khazanah Nasional or whatever else government-investment-body when it goes bust. Oh yes it will.)
Ads are annoying, kinda like the feel of having tiny bits of leftover fecal matter that you just can’t seem to wipe off your blog’s ass, no matter how hard you try. They distract me from reading the contents and waste my bandwidth.
Don’t get me wrong though, I don’t hate blogs that put up ads. But I do have an issue with sites that are set up solely for the purpose of making money from ads. They’re easy to spot: very few contents – mostly copy-and-paste stuffs, but lots of ugly ads plastered all over their sites. Some even had ads after a few sentences or paragraphs. Reading those blogs is like having a colonoscopy with a burning hot iron bar.
I gotta admit though, when I started blogging back in August my intention was to fill this site with copious amounts of fugly lovely ads. I wanted to milk every single cent from those companies by luring impressionable people into this shitty site on the premise of offering hot unadulterated content. And I did sign up with one company. No prize for guessing which.
Alas, I fail on both account; putting up ads in my page and churning out hot unadulterated contents. The reason was wordpress doesn’t allow me to edit the CSS and ads doesn’t seem to work well with my widgets.
However, I did not fail to attract lots of anonymous wankers here cause I’m pretty good in coming up with boner-inducing titles for uber lame contents. Remember, the title always grabs people’s dick attention.
I did read a couple of blogs regarding their experiences with these ad companies and I’m surprised at how much love the company had shown them. It seems that the payments were as consistent as an 80 year olds erection. The company’s CEO even personally left a comment at one blog showing some true love.
And then there’s this talk by a blogger about how we should be grateful to this company that had sort of revolutionized the blogosphere(HA HA!)
I heeded her advice and hence, that picture is up.
Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise not being able to put ads in my site. Without those irritating ads slowing down my page, I can continue churning out shitty contents and ripping off other sites. But I don’t care, not like I’m earning anything anyway.
p/s: Picture inspired by Maddox who did an article about Sony.
You should hire me to do your ads.
We’ve all had our experiences when it comes to ads that are ineffective in conveying their message, to those that are stupid and downright insulting to our intelligence. The reason why some ads sucked were because the product itself is shitty so no amount of ads can save its ass, others because the product itself was badly named hence conjuring all sorts of nasty imaginations in the consumer’s perverted minds, as featured here before.
Most of the time, ads are ineffective because the ad companies simply fail to grasp the concept of effective marketing. Sure they might have fancy-schmancy 3D pictures with all sorts of funky design, yet they can’t seem to deliver the message properly.
Now this is where I came in. Armed with (limited) knowledge in advertisement acquired during 2nd year studies in complementary courses – marketing and basic business, I, the engineer wannabe will demonstrate to you why you should hire me to do your ads.
Let’s take this ad for illustration purposes (taken from the health mag with the uber-lame name – HealthToday) :
Just a kid pretending to look bored while simultaneously attempting to pass motion. And there’s the pic of a couple of bottles of dope supplements called Citrex at the bottom. On first inspection, nothing seems to be wrong with this ad except for one minor detail: TOO WORDY.
Any self-respecting consumer wouldn’t give two hoots to all the texts because there’s just too many of them. So herein lies the problem; people get distracted by the pic and can’t be bothered with what’s written. In fact a mere glance of this ad would leave most people scratching their nuts wondering hmmm, does this Citrex thing works to aid crap dumping or merely an antidepressant to eliminate depression and boredom resulting from sitting on a plastic shitbowl? My bet is with the second suggestion. Hence the ad has FAILED to deliver its true essence.
We live in a fast-paced world therefore information must be conveyed in an immediate manner with the least distraction as possible. It should be simple, succint, straight to the point like how a one night stand should be – wham, bam, thank you mam! Following that concept, I’ve come up with suitable texts to go along with the picture in the ad. You know, the kind of text that would return the balance to a disrupted equilibrium caused by the high-impact picture:
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See how I managed to deliver the message effectively with such few words? In fact, I only used a grand total of SIX alphabets to not only tell consumers that Citrex is a kind of kids-friendly laxative, but also informed them that the supplement is to be taken orally. Not injected nor shoved up the ass. Killed 2 birds with one stone. Genius!
Damn I’m good. And I’m not even expensive.
UniG - The blog your mama warned you about. 